Nineteen Countries, One Class, Chaos

Today was the last day of my German class.


Picture of Rosslare

I don't know why I haven't posted about it yet, because taking the class has been the most singular entertaining and frustrating language learning experience I have ever had.

Let me set the scene.

Imagine 19 immigrants from:

1.Syria
2. Iran
3. Iraq
4. Uzbekistan
5. Italy
6. Greece
7.Romania
8. Poland
9. Nigeria
10. Uzbekistan
11. Eritrea
12. Spain
13. Uruguay
14. India

and, of course, The good ol' USA.

Although after hearing where some people were from ( ahem, Iran, ahem, Iraq) I wish I had pulled the Canada Cover Up*. I was at least spared any Vietnamese. Or Afghanis. Or Pakistanis. The list could go on.

Take a good luck at that list. Imagine putting all those countries in a room together, (add vastly different ages and backgrounds) mix in a poor German teacher, and..... just a pinch of crazy

What happens you ask? WHAT HAPPENS??

What DOESN'T Happen.

1. First Day. Broken English. Iranian Guy.
Him: U from USA?? Yaaahhh
Me: Well, yes
Him: USA, Iran, BIiiiGGggg Problems, U know?
Me: I'm so sorry ( nervous laughing response ensues) I don't really know.. Currently??
Him: Noo, no you know
Me: Well I'm really sorry for whatever my country has done to yours.. ( racking Brain, all I can think is 80's coup?! Ayotalloh Khomeini?! AHHH current stuff Leila current stuff!!)
Him: I must go!! This American music, you like? ( shows me tiny photo on phone)
Me: Yeah Britney's great
Him: (leaves)
Me: Still nervously giggling


Second Week. English... strange dialect. Nigerian Guy with Potbelly who leaves and comes to class whenever he feels like it. Also calls me sometimes.

German Teacher: Timothy, what do you do for a living? ( German)
Timothy: Ich bin schwimmer
German Teacher: Do you compete professionally?
Timothy: Yah, yah, yah yaYAyaya
German Teacher: For Nigeria?
Timothy: YAH!! ( raises arms in air)
German Teacher: ( gets excited) FOR AFRICA??
Timothy: ( stands up) YAH!! YAH!!
*CHEERING*
Everyone in class starts cheering and clapping.
This guy is not a champion swimmer. He is 39 and potbellied. Turns out he teaches children to swim in Nigeria. That is also doubtful.


Also, one of the other Iranian Ladies constantly asks me how I am so beautiful, in broken German ( so it takes an agonizingly long time), tells me I am super skinny, and so very pretty. I have never been more uncomfortable.

I will save the bare foot story for another time.


*The Canada Cover Up: In which an American traveler gives the impression of being from Canada because Canada has never offended anyone, and one gets tired of being quizzed about... well, geography, also George Bush.

Here are Lara and Liliana rollerblading, just to end this on the right note.